Bacon may be the unofficial fifth food group, but, hey, let's not go getting the authorities involved when we can't get our hands on any.

Check out this bloke in Britain who called 999 (that's their version of 911) because his girlfriend let their cat eat his bacon.

The call leads off with him declaring, "Me girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon."

The dispatcher, understandably miffed by the call, remains on the line with the man and eventually asks what he wants to do. In a bold legal strategy, he declares that he wants to press charges against his girlfriend and the cat.

The operator remains courteous when she breaks the bad news to the bacon-less buffoon: "Sir, it's not an offense to let your cat eat your bacon. And we don't arrest cats."

He puts up a fight before realizing the police will not be getting mixed up in this mess and hangs up, presumably in some cholesterol-deficient fit of rage.