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It’s So Hot In Wichita Falls That …

(Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

As the summer of 2011 heat wave continues in Wichita Falls, records are falling every day.

We tied the all time record for consecutive days with temperatures of 100 degrees or more yesterday (08.02.11).

That means that until we have a day that does NOT break 100 degrees, every day sets a new record.

Now that we’ve made it to the consecutive 100 degree days mark, it looks like the record for total number of 100 degree days (79) is in peril as well.

So … We may as well make the most of it. I wish I could take credit for what follows, but it was actually sent to me by my friend Chip Filer.



It’s so hot in Wichita Falls that …


The birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water comes out of both taps.

Sun tea IS instant tea.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a darn good branding iron.

If the temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car.

You learn the hard way that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening your car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside – at 7:30 am.

Your greatest motorcycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

You realize that asphalt does indeed have a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.


And since it’s been a while since we’ve seen a decent rainfall, here’s a bonus!


It’s so DRY in Wichita Falls that …


The Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling.

The Methodists are using Wet-Wipes.

The Presbyterians are giving rain checks.

And the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn to water.



(Photo by Dave Diamond)

Dave D.

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