It’s never a good idea to rob a store. It’s an even worse idea to try to rob a store using a firecracker. Chances are you’ll just get laughed at, and later you’ll get arrested. That’s the story of a man in Florida on Monday, when he tried to do just that.

Jesse James Lyon is accused of walking into a Bed, Bath & Beyond and demanding cash. Police say he threatened the store employee, saying he would blow the place up if his demands weren’t met. He then lifted up his shirt, revealing a firecracker stuffed in the waistband of his shorts.

The employee told Lyon to leave, and when he did, a customer followed him outside and reported his vehicle to the police. He was subsequently pulled over, and though he had changed his clothing, a firecracker was found in his possession.

Now Lyon is being charged with armed robbery and planting a hoax bomb.

On the one hand, I almost have to commend him for having enough confidence to think his plan would actually work. On the other hand, this guy is a bona fide moron. Why did he ever think a firecracker would instill fear into those around him?

Maybe we’ll see him in the news again, holding up a convenience store with a pair of tweezers. Or better yet, maybe at a McDonald’s with a pack of Twizzlers.

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