Hiring Santa for your Christmas party? That's Sooo 2014. Instead, you're going to want to hire this real-life elf on the shelf.

A Boston man posted his services to Craigslist offering to be a real-life elf on the shelf. In his ad, he offers to dress up just like the elf and sit somewhere in your house, preferably a shelf or a mantle, if you've got one that can hold him.

He charges $100 an hour, and according to his ad, all he does is "stare emptily at your guests." Apparently he's in such high demand that you need to book him 48 hours in advance.

Oh, and if you don't want his elf work, he also offers, "contracted private investigation and babysitting services." Because of course he does.