Top 5 Revelations Garth Brooks Could Drop at His Big Press Conference
Did you hear that Garth Brooks is making a major announcement on Thursday, July 10 at 11 a.m. CDT? What do you think it could be? Is it the tour dates he promised us last year? Is it an agreement to finally get his songs as digital downloads? Is it a new album?
Hmm. Hard to say with Garth. Those things are likely, sure — but here are five more things we think he could also announce.
Where Chris Gaines’ Corpse is Buried
A Whole Album of Sequel Songs
Wouldn’t it be great if he wrote sequels to his biggest hits? How about “The Thunder Kept Rolling,” a song where the abused woman goes all Quentin Tarantino on everyone who wronged her? Maybe a sequel to “That Summer,” where he realizes that maybe he should hook up with women his own age? Or “Anonymous Friends in Lower Places,” where the song’s character starts attending AA meetings?
Digital Downloads … But On Napster
Poor Garth – he can’t get with the times. You still can’t legally download his songs through iTunes or Amazon. Maybe he’ll take baby steps and get his songs on Napster, since that was dominant service for downloading mp3s when Garth was last big. Remember Napster? Chris Gaines remembers Napster.
He’s Actually Taylor Swift’s Biological Father
Nothing — He Just Wanted to Know You Still Cared
Face it, if Garth wanted to call a press conference just to say, “Hey, guess what – I’m still married to Trisha Yearwood, ya dumb mooks!” people would totally watch it. Don’t lie. At this point, people are so Garth-starved, he could sing a cookbook and it would go platinum. Plus, as far as Nashville marriages go, the length of his and Trisha’s is kind of impressive.