Chris Illuminati
Dropkick Stains With the Chuck Norris Detergent [Photo]
Chuck Norris can, and will, fight anything. Chuck Norris always wins. Now, bored with people, Chuck is fighting stains. We’ve found a detergent that is “Chuck Norris approved.”
Drunk Man Tries to Pull His Own Tooth
There’s drunk, really drunk and so drunk you think you’re licensed to perform dentistry. A Port St. Lucie, Florida man was so liquored up he attempted to pull his own tooth, forcing his wife to call the cops to get him to stop.
‘Top Gun’ Coming to Theaters in 3D
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Maverick, Goose and the rest of the ‘fly boys’ will land back in movie theaters in 2012 when ‘Top Gun’ is re-released in 3D.
Man Sues White Castle Over Booth Size
Normally a lawsuit involving a fast food chain and a patron has something to do with the food. In the case of Martin Kessman versus White Castle the main complaint by Mr. Kessman is that the restaurant’s booths aren’t big enough. Online Dish explains how his local White Castle repeatedly broke promises to make the booths at his local franchise bigger.
A Shaved Alpaca Licking a Kitten Defines Adorable [VIDEO]
It’s impossible to not find kittens super adorable. Even alpacas are impervious to their cuteness. This alpaca wants to show its affection for this little bundle of fur by nudging it around with its nose and possibly asking it out on a date.
Unemployed Man Finds $150K in Vegetable Garden
Here is how the cheesy late-90′s stand-up comic buried deep in our subconscious would report this story:
“Hey folks! Did you read the story in the Northwest Herald today about a guy in Illinois that found $150K in his backyard garden? Talk about growing some cabbage! Am I right folks? Those are a different kind of greens my friends! You hear what I’m saying everyone?!?”
The Spaghetti Fork Makes Getting Fat Even Easier [VIDEO]
Inventor Bob Balow understands that common folk don’t want a man of his superior genius working on cures for cancer or a way to get ‘Dharma & Greg’ back on television. Sure, those would be nice, but what the people really demand is an easier way to shovel food into their mouth. Bob Balow is a man of the people and those people yearn for the Spaghetti-Pasta-Noodle Fork.