"I don't have tree insurance, what am I gonna do?"
Somebody, please remix this man's words with some auto-tune and make it a song.

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I'm definitely not making fun of this poor soul's misfortune.  It would suck so bad to walk outside and see this.  The only upside, and it's a big one, is that he wasn't in it at the time the tree fell. I feel for ya, brutha.

But the question, along with the pink Crocs, just got me.  I've watched this thing on a loop all morning.  Analyzing every little sound. My favorite part is when he starts to ask some people we can't see off camera, "Hey do Y'all have tr..."

He was about to ask if THEY had tree insurance, decided that sounded weird, and then just proclaims that he does not have tree insurance.

Then there's his minion.  Who's the guy following him around like a puppy dog?  The video opens with Pink Crocs and Minion examining the trunk of the tree.  Pink Crocs then turns around to ask the onlookers if they have tree insurance. After a beat, Minion notices Pink Crocs is no longer standing next to him, and Minion bolts after him like a lost child finally finding his mom at the grocery store.

The video ends without us hearing the answer from the people out of frame, but hopefully, someone explained comprehensive insurance to him.  Also, this is on the campus of UT Austin, so the school might have to pony up for the damages. They have plenty of dough, let 'em. Hook 'em? I don't know, there's a joke there somewhere.

Welp, regardless, this young man is getting some life lessons along with his book learning.

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