Tips For Singles On Valentine’s Day – Or – Valentine’s Day For The Rest Of Us

Well, here we are. Valentine's Day. The day all of our attached friends love to celebrate. And they do it so obviously.

But what about the rest of us? Are we just supposed to crawl under a rock and pretend the day didn't happen?

I think not! Let us revel in our singleness and enjoy a stress free day watching everyone else making fools of themselves.

I ran across a list of tips for singles on a day for couples, so turn up your radio, pour yourself another cup of coffee and give it a read.

TIPS FOR BEING HAPPILY SINGLE ON VALENTINE'S DAY

1) DON'T "celebrate" your singlehood with other singles.

• You might assume that surrounding yourself with others who are in the same unattached boat is the perfect way to combat the feelings of loneliness that can arise during a day that is built around coupledom. But when a bunch of single women or guys get together because they are single, to remind themselves of why it's OK to be single, they tend to end up feeling really. . . single.

• A good rule of thumb is this: If you'd be embarrassed to tell your cute co-worker what you did on Valentine's Day ("We had some drinks and burned photos of our exes all night long!"), then you probably shouldn't do it.

2) DON'T force yourself to attend a singles mixer, speed-dating event, or blind date with your grandmother's dentist's son.

• Being single is not a problem that you have to "fix"-and the day that you are feeling the most pressure to have a romantic partner is not the day to start desperately throwing yourself on the market.

• In today's post-dating world, people are increasingly connecting through casual and ambiguous settings where they can be themselves. So skip the formal outings and throw a co-ed dinner party, go to a concert, or volunteer with a local organization.

• Be social on Valentine's Day! Do something that involves members of the opposite sex. But choose an activity that will be fun on its own, whether you end up meeting the love of your life or not. You don't want to risk going home disappointed. Not on Valentine's Day.

3) Ladies, DON'T expect this to be the day when "that guy you've been sort of hanging out with" will declare his romantic feelings for you.

• Men often feel unwelcome pressure around Valentine's Day, too. While guys in relationships are stressing over their obligation to plan The Best Evening Ever, single guys are wondering how to handle their more ambiguous relationships.

• In this era of romantic "gray areas," you probably have at least one guy in your life who you think you might have (mutual? who knows!) feelings for. But here's a hint: he's probably going to stay silent on Valentine's Day. His lack of a big romantic gesture-or even a perfunctory text message-doesn't mean that he's not into you. It just means that he knows you will read more seriousness into his words and actions on Valentine's Day than you would on any other day of the year. And given all that pressure, he'd rather keep the lid on that can of worms.

• Save yourself the worry of waiting to hear from him, and push him out of your mind for a day. You can comment on his Facebook status and resume your ambiguous flirtation tomorrow.

4) DON'T assume that everyone who has a date is having a better time than you are.

• There are definitely couples out there who will have a great time together on Valentine's Day. But those are probably the same couples who are also having a great time together on Feb. 13, 15, and beyond. So don't psych yourself out by comparing your plans to everyone else's. You aren't a Valentine's Day failure! In fact, you might even be having more fun than most other people . .

5) DON'T get hung up on being "single." You're not!

• Valentine's Day can tempt you to categorize your love life into one of two black-and-white boxes: either you're in a relationship, or you're not. If you're in a relationship, then you're happy and in love. And if you're single, then you're desperate and lonely.

Dave D.