I wanted to say kill, but that headline is probably going to make some people mad. However, if you don't want spoilers and kills from the Friday the 13th franchise. Stop reading now.
Today is Friday the 13th, in fact it is the only Friday the 13th of 2022. If your first thought today is not about surviving the day from Jason, what are you doing with your life? Friday the 13th is my favorite horror movie franchise of all time. Even the crappy ones, I still have a good time with them. Certain aspects of the "Halloween" or "Nightmare on Elm Street" franchise, I will never watch again.
Friday the 13th, you pick out any of those movies, I am down to watch one. ESPECIALLY today! So today I am going through the original 11 movies, yes I am including Freddy VS Jason in this discussion and I am throwing out the 2009 reboot. I will be discussing some of my favorite kills from every movie and seeing where they could take place throughout Wichita Falls.
Warning, this will spoil many of these movies for you.
Friday the 13th (Lake Wichita)
Starting right off the bat with probably the biggest spoiler in the franchise. Jason is not the original killer in the Friday the 13th franchise. Sadly Drew Barrrymore did not answer this correctly in "Scream" and got herself killed. However, Jason has the scariest scene in the movie. Alice is the only girl to survive and after killing Mrs. Voorhees she goes to the lake on a boat. Morning comes, cops arrive, peaceful music playing. THEN OUT OF F***ING NOWHERE JASON COMES. Seen this movie countless times, always gets me. Jason would hang out in Lake Wichita waiting to strike in our town. Not the clearest water here, but they didn't call it Camp Crystal Lake for nothing.
Friday the 13th Part 2 (Dirt Hill Lake Wichita)
Poor Mark man, guys in a wheelchair and you think Jason wouldn't mess with a guy in a wheelchair. NOPE! Mark gets a machete right to the face. Poor Mark though, has his wheelchair fall out of the cabin, then go down a MASSIVE staircase. Where would it be the funniest place to see Mark wheel down? Dirt hill near Lake Wichita. How would he get up there by himself?
Friday the 13th Part 3 (Crunch Gym)
Friday the 13th Part 3 is iconic for many reasons. This is the first time Jason gets the hockey mask. He wore a potato sack over his head in the last one. Plus the movie is in 3D. I would say you have two good kills in this one to choose from. Either the arrow to the eye or this one. Rick getting his head squeezed so hard, his eye pops out of his head. Jason got to hit the gym to do that, so let him test out his strength at Crunch.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Horseshoe Bend Winery)
Final Chapter lol, not even half way through the franchise and we have them saying FINAL chapter. This is not the best kill in the movie, but it is my personal favorite. Jimmy who is played by Crispin Glover of Back to the Future fame is in the kitchen looking for the corkscrew. Jason gives it to him and then a machete to the head. Seriously, it's like comedic timing on that corkscrew going through his hand. Jason is like here you go. Where can Jason get all the corkscrews he wants? Our local winery of course.
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (Casa Manana)
This is the one that not a lot of people like and I can't blame them. It's not Jason, it's a copycat killer trying to be Jason. I do think the blue stripes on the hockey mask look the best. Sorry guys, back to back personal favorites on the list, but Demon here has one of my favorite lines in Friday the 13th history. "It's them damn enchiladas" As he scurries over to take a dump, Jason gets him on the toilet. What a crappy way to go out. Who has good enchiladas in town? I'm actually not big on enchiladas, but the thing I order at Casa Manana comes with enchiladas. So I will go with them.
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (Lakeview Cemetery)
Screw copycat Jason, we're bringing the real guy back. Stupid Tommy Jarvis wants to be sure Jason is dead. So he goes and digs him back up just to be sure. He stabs Jason several times with a rod just to be sure he's dead. Then a lightening bolt comes down striking the rod bringing Jason back to life. That opening scene is freaking amazing. So Jason needs a cemetery? Let's go with Lakeview Cemetery in Wichita Falls since it has lake in the name.
Friday the 13th Part 7: New Blood (Coyote Ranch Resort)
Probably the kill scene most people remember the best is the sleeping bag scene. In my head, he bangs her multiple times against the tree. Nope, just once and she's dead. Where can Jason get some sleeping bags in Wichita Falls? At one of our many campgrounds, how about Coyote Ranch Resort.
Friday the 13th Part 8 Jason Takes Manhatten (Pueblo Boxing)
This is the worst movie in the franchise in my opinion. Oh snap, Jason out of Camp Crystal Lake and going to New York City? Not really, the vast majority of the movie is on a boat. Jason is in New York for maybe the last twenty minutes of the movie. This is another personal one. Julius tries to box Jason Voorhees. Julius gets his block knocked off like a Rock'em Sock'em Robot. Where could Jason box in Wichita Falls? Pueblo Boxing downtown.
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (Hotter'N Hell Hundred)
This is where we stopped calling them Friday the 13th movies and now they're Jason movies. They actually tried something new with this one. Jason gets utterly destroyed at the start of the movie, they literally blow him up. So it's Jason's soul? Taking over people's bodies to kill. Neat idea, didn't hit for me. What everyone remembers is the ending. F***ing Freddy Kruger's glove coming from hell to grab Jason's mask. Since we have the Hotter'N Hell Hundred here. Jason and Freddy can sweat it out at the annual ride.
Jason X (Dippin' Dots Sikes Senter Mall)
Man this one was tough. Not deciding the kill. That was easy. The head smash from the liquid nitrogen. Best kill of the movie. Where the hell do you get liquid nitrogen in Wichita Falls. Here's my logic on Dippin' Dots. Ice cream of the future, the movie is set in the future. Jason could dunk someone's head in the Dippin' Dots tub and try to smash it? Not all of these were going to be home runs.
Freddy VS Jason (Furniture Row)
As soon as this movie starts, we cannot wait for Trey to die. Don't worry, he gets killed pretty quick. Nothing too fancy at first. Standard machete through the mattress. Then Jason folds the mattress like a soft taco crunching Trey inside. Where could Jason destroy Trey at in Wichita Falls? Furniture row. Crunch that little jerk into all sorts of furniture. Love seats, tables, sofas.